Dear Badass,
I want you to fail today! When you hear the words fail or failure, what do you think? If I asked you to fail, would you cringe? I want you to build up your failure backbone. The strongest and most successful people that I know, become okay with failure. Matter of fact they set goals to fail! They accept failures as stepping stones along their journey to success. If the fear of failure is holding you back, then this article is definitely for you friend!
Before we get to deep into the topic of failure, I’ve got to know how last week went for you. Did you start a habit of making decisions more often? Did you feel good about it, or maybe a bit uncomfortable?! Either way I’m glad that you tried it! Now let’s get back to failure.
The reason why I am so passionate about failing is because I used to be so terrified of failing, and anytime I failed, I would beat myself up over it. If I made the tiniest of mistakes (especially at work), I called myself a failure and beat myself up over and over again. Nobody ever said anything to me about the mistakes, because they were so minor, and I doubt anyone noticed them or even cared. I made them 10 times worse in my own head, by being overly critical of myself. If a co-worker had done the same thing, no big deal, but when I did it, I would rehash the scenario over and over again. My thoughts about failure weren’t doing me any good and they certainly weren’t giving any confidence in myself or my abilities. Once I started the habit of criticizing mistakes or failures, it seemingly got worse. To the point where I doubted myself and all of my decisions. Somehow, over time, things changed for me and I began to view my failures differently.
Ask yourself, what if everyone is making the same mistakes that you are? What if their failures are worse than yours? What if you found out that the people whom you idolize have failed their way to the top? Maybe, they have had failure after failure, and got back up and tried again. Would any of those things I just mentioned, change your opinion of them? Likely not. Personally, I respect them even more. If you know someone who has been successful ask them about their failures, because it may be an eye opener for you.
You can learn from failure.
Failure is simply providing you with an opportunity to learn. If you were to repeatedly win at life, you wouldn’t learn as much, as you do from failures. Overcoming failures is what separates the rookies from the professionals. When you fail don’t take it personal. Ask yourself, what is the lesson in this?
If you decide not to learn from failure and you give up or quit, then you are teaching yourself a different lesson. That quitting is okay. That you are not good enough. That your dream isn’t worth it. If you are a parent, consider what message you are sending to your kids. You expect them to get back up and try again, but are you doing the same thing?
In a You Tube video titled “Giving Up” Rachel Hollis said “we are not standing on a mountain top of success but on a mountain built of failures; but we’re standing on top of them instead of buried underneath them.” I want you to challenge yourself to build your own mountain top of failures!!!
Failure will move you towards your goals, not away from them!
The beauty of failure’s is they can move you one step closer to your goal. Often times, you don’t know what you don’t know. The best way to learn is by trying and experimenting. Think of failures as you testing your hypothesis (what you believe to be true) and keep testing it until you get to your dream. If you find out what you thought was wrong, you can pivot in a different direction. Your failures help you learn what to do and what not to do, so that you can improve and get closer to your goal. Barbara Corcoran gave a Ted talk called “The best successes all came on the heels of Failure.” In that talk Barbara said she looks for employees or to partner with businesses who bounce back quickly. She said “If you take the hit and keep going back at it, you always hit the finish line.” Your ability to handle failure and bounce back could be the very thing that others look up to, the thing that makes you successful at accomplishing your goals. Don’t rob yourself of the opportunity to accomplish a goal because of a silly little failure!
Failing repeatedly can give you confidence
Failing can give you confidence, if you let it. Make a deal with yourself, to keep going towards your goals, regardless of the failures that may result. Matter of fact, take winning and losing out of the equation. Just do what you love and are passionate about, over and over again. When you do something over and over you tend to become more skilled at that task. When you get more skill, you get more confidence.
Failure will give you a sense of pride.
Think of a time when you accomplished a task that felt so hard or insurmountable, but you did it anyway? Was there a struggle or a failure in there? I bet there was. Usually accomplishing something that was hard, feels more powerful than when something is handed to you. Here is an example. The first race I ever ran was a marathon. It was sooo hard. The training was brutal. I remember running 17 miles during training, and I struggled to finish. The last mile or two were insane. Matter of fact I felt like crying because everything hurt so bad. I didn’t even know if I could finish those last two miles, but how would I get home if I didn’t? The struggle of the 17-mile run, led to all sorts of doubts about being able to complete the full marathon. That 17-mile run is ingrained in my memory. When I finished both the 17-mile run and the full marathon I was so proud of myself. I thought, if I’m not a runner and I could complete a marathon, what else can I do? Overcoming the struggles along the way is what made me proud to finish. If the journey was easy, accomplishing it wouldn’t have meant as much to me. Realize that your failures are going to make the end result feel so much better!
Remember friend, your failures can be learned from, they will move you towards your goals, will give you confidence, and also a sense of pride. Don’t stop now, you are too close to accomplishing your goal and your dream life. After all, you could be one failure away from the life you want. Are you willing to give that up?
I have created a worksheet to help you get over your fear of failure. If you are already signed up for my blog, you should get the worksheet via email (with the Weekly blog reminder). Otherwise sign up for the blog on the home page and I will send the worksheet link to you. You can also email your first name and the word Fail in the subject line to ordinarytobadass@gmail.com and I will sign you up and send you the link! I really want you to have the resource and I will work on getting this fixed!
I would love to hear how you feel about failure in the comments below! Also let me know what topics you want to see in future blog posts! We are all in this together and I want to make sure you are getting value!
Marie