“I don’t know. What do you think? Oh, you can decide.” Do you find yourself repeatedly defaulting to other people, to make decisions for you? Why is that? If these have become your go to responses, I want you to examine why that is. When did you start doing this or have you always let other people decide?
Before we examine this idea of indecisiveness I have got to know. How did last week go? Did you try using the 50% rule? I really think using that method for goal setting can be a game changer for you friend!
Okay now I am gonna decide to quit talking about the 50% rule and switch to talking about decision making now (-; Often times, people don’t make decisions because they want to be considerate of other people, they are afraid to pick the wrong thing and they have gotten in a habit of being indecisive.
You want to be kind to other people.
I know you want to be kind to those around you, but you can still be kind and make decisions. It is actually more selfish to always rely on those around you, to make all of the decisions for you. Yes, while it’s true that you can take others opinions into account, it is also true that your voice matters too! How is it fair that they have to make all of the decisions, all of the time? How would you like to make all of the decision from here on out without any input from anyone else? When you are feeling indecisive, and want to be kind, think of taking the pressure off of those around you and throw your opinion into the mix.
You are afraid that you will pick the wrong thing.
I know it’s hard for you to decide because you worry that you will make the wrong decision. More often than not you cannot choose the wrong thing. It’s not possible. You have a good head on your shoulders and a lifetime of experience. That experience will lead you to make a good decision.
If you let fear control every decision you make, you will never get anything done.
Some of the worst mistakes I have made have also been the best mistakes, because I learned from them. Once you make a huge mistake, you likely won’t make that same mistake again, because you will remember it. The mistakes are what seem to stick in our minds. That experience can be invaluable for the future. You cannot learn those lessons if you don’t put yourself out there and make decisions.
You have gotten in the habit of being indecisive.
For years now you have let others decide for you, because it just seemed easier, it won’t cause an argument, and it won’t upset anyone’s feelings if you just let them decide. The more you let others make decisions the less you want to make decisions. It just seems to get easier and easier to just let those around you choose.
When you stop making decisions, the big decisions begin to seem insurmountable because you haven’t made the small ones. Imagine you have a life changing situation (like the death of a loved one) and you have to make a bunch of choices. What will you do? It would probably feel pretty overwhelming; which is why you should make it a point to start now!
Actionable Steps
- Start with small decisions
If you are out of practice calling the shots, then start with the small decisions. Say for example your spouse, significant other, friend wants to go out for dinner. Speak up and voice your opinion. State where it is that you want to go! Be committed to making the small decisions. They are more important than you know because they help you to make a lifetime of decisions. Keri Russell says “Sometimes it’s the small decisions that can change your life forever.” They also build you confidence in your ability to make decisions (big or small).
The small things in life can be the stepping stones for the big things. When you constantly decide on the small things you can decide on the big things. It’s the habits that we have day in and day out which lead to big life changes. Create the habit of making one decision each day. I don’t care how small it is. You can increase that number later.
2) Decide on one thing
If you had to choose one or the other what would you choose? Instead of saying “I don’t care.” Pretend you did care, what would you pick? If both options were equally appealing, in your mind, then it shouldn’t be a big deal if you pick one. Again, if you can’t decide which is the better option, then just pick something, pick anything. There is so much growth that can happen by making a habit of deciding. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to grow.
3) Take the steering wheel.
Take the steering wheel and decide whether or not you will turn left or right. By not deciding you are deciding. You’re choosing not to take control of your life. You’re letting other people take the steering wheel and choose what direction your life will go. You cannot make big decisions in your life if you won’t make the little decisions. Ralph Waldo Emerson stated “Once you make a decision the universe conspires to make it happen.” Imagine that. You could make a decision to change your life and the universe would help to make that happen!
I encourage you to get in the game of life and make a decision. Each and every decision is one step towards your future. That isn’t meant to feel overwhelming. It’s a reminder to take action. Other people will make decisions for you, you just may not like where you end up. The more decisions that you make the easier this will become for you! Think if decisions as being like a set of dominoes. If you make one decision only one domino can fall over. If you make decision after decision over time, it can cause a whole chain of reaction and all of the dominoes can fall. I truly believe that decisions can change your life if you let them!
In the next blog post we will be talking about Failing So Good, and how it helps to increase your confidence.
Please comment below about how you make decisions. Do you struggle with indecisiveness?
Marie