Why Change is Hard and how you can Make Changes now!

I recently discovered two critical lessons that I can’t wait to share with you because I think they could have a significant impact on your life.

Recently I learned that I need to be open to change. Change is hard, and just because it feels more comfortable and less scary to make changes in your life doesn’t mean that it’s better for you. 

Have you ever been afraid to jump? Even when it was just a small leap? 

Now and again, I realize I have gotten used to a routine, and I don’t want to make a change. For example, I came upon a situation a few weeks ago where I was afraid to do something different, and change my routine! Let me tell you about it! 

I had just finished mowing my lawn, and I was going to move the sprinkler. My yard has two levels. I got to the edge of the upper level and saw the distance to the lower level. I thought about jumping but hesitated. Part of me wanted to jump down to the lower level because it was the quickest path to turn off the sprinkler. The other part of me urged me to play it safe and to not jump…to walk around, as I always had before. I don’t know what caused this. Maybe I was afraid of getting hurt? It felt a little bit scary, but I didn’t understand why. I knew it was only a few feet down. Maybe it was because I could get hurt? Or because I had done the same thing for so long (walk the long way and not jump), and I had just gotten complacent.

In the past, I had encouraged my niece and nephews to jump so many times before. I would tell them it was a small jump, and it was no big deal. Yet here I was afraid to jump. So, I did it. I put on my big girl pants and jumped. Every time I have encountered that ledge since I have jumped, out of peer principle!

I don’t want to be afraid to make changes, and I don’t want to do things just because I have always done them! I want to grow and change!

The whole incident got me to wonder, why don’t we jump more often? Why are we afraid of change? How do you make a change? I was determined to look into this further and figure out what was going on!

Fleas in the jar

 When I started thinking about change, Zig Ziglar’s story about the fleas in the jar popped into my head. Let me tell you the story now! He says if you were to put fleas in a jar, with a lid, and leave them in there for two or three days. The insects will get accustomed to jumping a certain height because they start to jump, and they hit their head on the lid of the jar. If you let them go on for two or three days, and then you unscrewed the cover of the jar, the fleas wouldn’t jump out. After a few days of being in the container, they become accustomed to only jumping so high. After all, they don’t want to hit the lid! They don’t want to hit that lid again. Their offspring would even follow the same “rules” and only jump as high as their parents did. 

How have you done this in your own life? Have you stopped jumping because you thought you failed? Are you teaching your offspring not to try certain things in their life? Maybe you’re holding them back without even knowing it. I believe that the real failure isn’t failing; it’s giving up and no longer trying!

You may be asking; how does that apply to your life? It applies because you may have hit a lid, come across resistance, or failed in your life. Chances are you have! Where in your life, are you afraid to jump, smack your head, or fall on your face?

 It’s so easy to be afraid of failure, or something hasn’t worked for you before, so you stopped doing it, or you’ve never done some things, so it seems like it’s not possible. So we must examine, where are we setting a lid in our life, and see if we can overcome that. 

Why is change hard?

Why is change so darn hard? Based on my research for this article, I believe change is hard because it’s uncomfortable, makes you feel incompetent, and it’s hard when you don’t see it coming.

The host of The Life Coach School Podcast Brooke Castillo said change is hard. She says we don’t like change at all because it’s hard and uncomfortable. So, instead, we’d run back into our little cave and seek safety and warmth and not worrying about doing something new. I think that that it’s essential to ask yourself, are you seeking protection? Is there a reason that you’re seeking safety, or are you just doing what’s normal and what’s comfortable for you? Brooke also says change is hard because you’re judging yourself based on what you’ve always done or what you’ve been able to accomplish. You may also look at what you’re achieving now and use that as a baseline for what’s possible in the future. So maybe we don’t think something is possible, because we haven’t accomplished that crazy thing. If you are only basing change or what’s possible based on what we’ve accomplished in the past, how can you ever change? Or grow?

So, where are you setting your limits? And is it worth it to you to change it? Reidentifying yourself is challenging. You will want to go back and get comfortable and be in a cave.

Seth Godin says change is hard if you don’t like the feeling of incompetence. On the Entreleadership Podcast, he stated: “If you don’t like the feeling of incompetence, you will fight the feeling of change.” Let that sink in a minute. I will repeat it because I think it’s that powerful. “If you don’t like the feeling of incompetence, you will fight the feeling of change.” Who likes to feel like an idiot, to feel incompetent, or feel like a failure? Umm nobody! Most of us don’t want to feel that way. We would instead not go through that pain, because we feel so stupid. And we feel like all the eyes are on us. In truth, there probably aren’t that many eyes on us. Maybe it wasn’t that big a mistake you made, but you just amplified it in your head. So, I feel like an idiot. It’s okay to feel like an idiot. I will tell you that since starting this business, I have done plenty to feel like an idiot, or to feel incompetent. For example, all things tech, up until a year ago, were foreign to me! I was horrible and probably knew as much (or as less) as your ninety-year-old grandma knew. The point is, for my blog for my podcast, this video. I didn’t know how to do any of it. And I’m just learning along the way. You’ll notice this video doesn’t have editing. I don’t know how to do that yet, but I will figure it out. I’m not going to let incompetence or not knowing something, stop me from my dream. And that’s something for you to consider. Are you going to make something that you don’t know how to do, stop you from your dream? Is it going to bother you at all that you gave up just because you didn’t know how to do something? I also want you to consider how you are categorizing failure or incompetence. If you classify yourself as an idiot for not learning or knowing something, you will treat yourself that way. If you think of it as a hypothesis and each failure or success as support for your argument, you may be better off. Henry Ford said, ” whether you think you can, or you think you can’t-you’re right.”

According to “Why we are all afraid of change,” change is hard when it’s sudden and dramatic, and you don’t see it coming. Sudden change is much more robust than a gradual change that occurs over a long period. An example of gradual versus dramatic change could be at work. Imagine you went to work and overnight your boss decided to change your duties. You may be shocked and upset. If, on the other hand, one assignment had changed at a time, you probably wouldn’t notice it. If you are trying to make a change, and don’t want it to be so hard, consider changing one thing at a time.

In the article “12 Reasons Why Jumping into The Complete Unknown Is the Best Decision You’ll Ever Make,” they say, “People fear the unknown due to perceptions of the danger it brings and instead, seek beautiful imprisonment.” Ah, that’s crazy. Why would we fear the unknown and seek imprisonment? We find this imprisonment in our own home! The home that is supposed to be your castle! You sit there, and you’re in prison. You watch TV all the time, and you’re not pursuing your passions. I’m not judging. I’ve done this for so long, but just because you don’t know something doesn’t mean it’s an excuse to give up. 

How to make Changes

Al Switzler says to make a change; you must identify your crucial moments, create vital behaviors, engage all six sources of influence, and turn bad days into a good day.

In the video, he talks about figuring out moments that you want to change. Is there a specific time when your lousy habit rears its ugly head? Figure out what that moment is when you’re the weakest or most vulnerable to your problem (whatever you are trying to change. He suggests you create vital behaviors, which are behaviors that are associated with the result. If you want to quit smoking, stop going on breaks with people whom you know will smoke. All say to look at the different areas of your life that are influencing your decisions. Are your friends and family affecting you and making it harder for you to stop doing something? You may have a tough conversation with them. Lastly, Al says to use your bad days as data. Like I mentioned earlier in the article, you’re just proving or disproving your hypothesis!

Another way to make changes in your life is to commit to lifelong learning! According to “Habits You Should Adopt Immediately to Make Big Changes in Your Life,” you can make changes by seeking knowledge throughout your life. The article suggests that you find information both formally and informally and that you be a seeker of knowledge. 

Some of the most considerable changes I have implemented in my life have come from books and audiobooks. I used to drive a lot for work. So I listened to every audio finance book on CD, that I could get my hands on. That changed my finances significantly. Changing my financial situation changed everything else in my life. If I hadn’t gained control of my finances, I don’t think I’d be writing this blog post right now!

If you want to change something, start with something you find interesting. Find out all of the information you can about the thing that interests you. If you wish to change your eating habits, think about what kind of healthy food you’re interested in trying. Focusing on learning about something that interests you will probably make it easier for you to grow and change!

According to “Find success at the edge of your comfort zone,” you need change to be happy. The article says, “Try to do something you’ve never done every single day. Don’t be afraid to try new things and stand in your discomfort zone. If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.” Have you ever done something out of your comfort zone and felt great afterward? It can be exhilarating! Try it. You may even find it empowering. I have said to myself before, wow, if I could run that, and I’m not a runner, then that’s pretty badass. In the previous sentence, insert your challenge instead of running.

Conclusion

We often go through a cycle when deciding whether or not to make a change. You get sick and tired of doing the same thing, so you jump…or you don’t. The important thing is when you feel like jumping and want to make a change, do it. Don’t wait. Do it when the inspiration hits. Do it when it feels too painful not to do it. Don’t wait until that feeling of wanting change wears off. Now is your time to make a change. No excuses. Just jump!

Comment below and let me know, are you struggling to make a change? What have you tried?