Even if you feel like the cat , others may think look like the Lion!
Do you have courage? Hmmm, courage, it’s not always easy, right? I dunno about you, but I haven’t felt like I’ve had courage for most of my life. Stubbornness yes. Courage, no! It got me to wondering do you ever really feel courageous? Also, I wanted to know, how to have courage in your life regardless of the circumstances.
Maybe you have courage, and have shown strength during hard times; you just don’t realize it! Also, how do you find courage again?
Yes, you have Courage!
Sometimes you’re forced into courage. You take a step forward and stand up because you feel like you have to! Afterward, you discount it and explain away that you had to do it. It’s easy to dismiss courage that you didn’t initially seek. The truth is, just because something unexpected happened to you, and you stepped up as a reaction, doesn’t make it any less heroic.
You did the thing!
Even though you felt like you didn’t have any other options, you likely did have another choice. You could have laid down and let someone else walk all over you.
It doesn’t matter how you got started; it matters how it ends.
Are you familiar with Elle Woods in Legally Blonde (sorry I mostly have old movie references (-: )? She went to Harvard to follow a boyfriend that broke up with her. Elle ended up defending a sorority sister in a murder trial. She stood up for what was right and did a good thing, yah? Who cares how she got there? You with me on that?
So, how come it’s courageous when someone else is brave, but it’s average when you do it?
Give yourself some damn props for doing the courageous thing.
Stop minimizing your greatness!
Are you looking for more courage in your life?
So, you’ve done something courageous in your life; I know you have! Maybe you got out of the habit of doing scary things. The good news is, it’s never too late to start (or resume where you left off).
Start pushing yourself and encouraging yourself along the way. Don’t be afraid to grow.
Why is it when kids are growing up, adults push them so hard to get over their fears.
It’s called learning.
We want them to learn new things and realize that it’s not scary.
Are you taking your own advice and learning and pushing past fear?
Kids grow so dang fast.
Have you ever not seen a niece or nephew for a year, and it’s like dang how did you get so smart? You wonder how they could have known that.
They, unlike you and I, spent the year learning and growing.
Adults encourage kids to ride a bike and fall off and then to try again. You say, “You can do it,” or “you got this.”
Cool.
Now start saying those very things to yourself!
Remind yourself you’re learning!
Get back up. You can do it! You’ve got this!
If you want to know how to have courage, change your thoughts.
Looking to be more courageous by training your brain? The things you say to yourself are so powerful. Don’t dismiss the idea that what you say to yourself matters. As a matter of fact, it could be a game-changer. Don’t believe me? Try it for a week.
If you want to clear your brain and get your head right, then meditation is a solid option. You may feel like it will be hard to quiet your mind, and it could be. The simple practice of sitting and thinking for five minutes helps!
According to Inc. “sometimes a daily meditation practice of even a few minutes is hard to maintain. (I don’t manage to do it, even though I know it works.) If so, you can still help yourself, especially when you’re feeling afraid, by simply stopping for a few moments and focusing on your breath. Filling your brain with oxygen will help it drive out fear.” Whenever a thought creeps in, you can tell yourself back to center, or back to my breath and focus on your breathing again!
Maybe meditation isn’t for you. Now what?
Consider facing and dealing with your emotions. It seems so much easier to ignore how you feel instead of facing the truth. People stuff their feelings away in alcohol, drugs, food, etc. How about just sitting down and paying attention to how you feel?
According to WikiHow, “avoiding fears actually makes them stronger and scarier. There’s a certain mindset in Western culture that views emotions as weakness and seeks to suppress them. But suppressing negative emotions only heightens the fear of the negative emotion itself, strengthening them the more they are avoided.”
You are not weak for showing your emotions. A Badass isn’t someone who has to be harsh or emotionless. It’s someone who is willing to learn, grow, and yes, even be vulnerable sometimes! Sit with your fear and emotions, even if it’s only for a few minutes. Allow the little kid in you to be scared and feel what she feels. Maybe, just maybe some of that panic will go away.
Focus on the positive outcome!
Another trick you can do is to focus on the positive. I am not being woo-woo or a positive Polly here. It works. Have you ever started a diet and concentrated on all of the negative things you would have to go through to get to the weight you wanted to be? Ya think I’m gonna have to stop eating pizza and jalapeno poppers.
That really sucks. You continue to think about all of the horrible things, like how you won’t be able to go out with your friends and how miserable you’ll feel. Do those thoughts motivate you? Likely not. However, if you focused on how hot your bod will look when you get to your desired weight, it will help give you motivation.
According to Guy Winch “Give thought to how great you’ll feel about yourself after you take this leap of faith after you act despite your fear. This kind of thinking will also help decrease some of your reluctance, and it will increase your determination.”
Sit down and imagine how amazing you will feel after you accomplish this hard task. Imagine a great outcome. Even if you don’t hit the exact mark/goal, you can feel proud of yourself for trying. Remember, you’re just learning!
Looking for practical steps to work through flexing your courage muscle?
Courage is like a muscle.
You have to keep flexing it, and you will get stronger and stronger. Strength and courage don’t happen overnight. If you stop being courageous for a while, it may feel a little like starting over, and that’s okay!
First, look at the reality of the situation. It’s so easy to make things scary in your mind. To build things up to be harder and worse than they are. Marie Forleo says to ask yourself, what’s the worst possible thing that could happen if you said yes and failed miserably? She also says to ask yourself, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you did decide to do nothing and keep your life exactly as it is. Write these things down and get specific as possible.
Grab the how to have courage worksheet here and answer the questions!
After you get done with this worksheet, notice how you feel. Did anything change after doing that exercise?
Don’t be afraid to make Mistakes!
Get out there and mess up. You are just learning; there is nothing wrong with making mistakes. The only way that mistakes define you is if you give up. The great Les Brown said “Anything that’s worth doing is worth doing badly Until you get it right.” If you get knocked down, get back up. Think about the things you have done that have been easy. Are you proud of those things? What have you done in your past that was hard? What are your proudest accomplishments? You may notice that they took courage and determination. Keep coming back after you make mistakes.
Write Your Phobias Down.
Get specific about all of the things you are afraid of. Charlie Gilkey suggests you “Muster up the courage to name your phobias and work through the fear they generate. The reality is that you may just move to being uncomfortable with whatever you’re currently scared of, but you can function as a rational person through discomfort.” Writing things down can help you; not only to get specific but to come up with a plan of action to conquer that fear. Write down your fears and then steps you can take to overcome that fear. If you hate heights, the first step could be stepping on the first rung of a ladder, the second step is the next rung of the ladder, and keep going. When you conquer the first step, notice how you feel afterward! After the nerves subside, you may feel pretty darn proud of yourself.
Try Something New!
Also, if you want to be courageous, try something new. Are you in the habit of doing the same routine all the time?
It’s so easy to get comfortable with your life and how things are done. Who wants to push themselves and feel discomfort again? According to Harvard Business review “Practice going out of your comfort zone: Consciously and consistently practicing small acts of courage can have a cumulative effect. For example, I suggest people to try to speak up when they believe something is not right in their everyday life. To challenge themselves to take a stand for seemingly little things can strengthen the habit of making truly difficult and courageous decisions.” What can you do to get out of your comfort zone today? When was the last time you spoke up and said something that made you feel uncomfortable? What have you shied away from saying, but you held back out of fear?
Lastly, break your vision down into smaller bit size steps. You know that saying, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” You don’t have to take everything on at once, break it down into small manageable tasks. Margie Warrell says, “What matters most is knowing the direction in which you want to head, even if you aren’t clear on a specific end-point destination. Once you know the direction, then think about what you would like to be doing 12 months from now that would move you toward it.” Margie then says to think about what you’d be doing six months from now, two months from now, two weeks from now, tomorrow, and lastly, she says to figure out today. Figure out what you want and break it down into bite-size pieces.
Listen to the related Podcast Episode Here!
Are you Ready to Take Action?
It’s time to get started and push past that well known fear!
Fill out the How to Have Courage worksheet now!
Answer some of the questions that we mentioned above. Let’s consider the worksheet your first act of courage. Then give yourself 24 hours to complete your second act of courage.
You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage, just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery and I promise you, something great will come of it.”
Benjamin Mee
If you feel stuck, I gotchu, but I also want to challenge you.
All you need is 20 seconds of courage, friend. Have 20 seconds of courage today. Do the thing you have been terrified of doing or take one tiny step towards it.
Call the estranged family member, send an email, create something you’ve wanted to create, sign up for that course. I’m gonna encourage you to do one small courageous thing that may only take 15 seconds but can change your life.
Do the courageous thing, then, of course, comment below and tell me what ya did! On the flip side, if you need support before you do the scary thing, comment below and tell me what you’re struggling with!
I know you can do this.
I believe in you.
To your Badassery,
Marie
PS If you want extra credit, take a pic of your worksheet all filled out and put it on your Instagram Stories and tag me @ordinarytobadass. Let’s be courageous together!
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If you liked “How to Have Courage Even when you Feel week” check out this blog and podcast combo! The world is going to shit, but that’s okay!