Hey Friends. How have you been since the last post? Have you noticed any negativity in your life? Have you taken any action to stop it from continuing? While I don’t wish that energy vampire on anyone, I know that it is easy to get sucked into and it takes time to get out of your old habits. So, whether its you or someone in your life that’s struggling with it, remember it is a work in progress and something you have to continuously evaluate.
March is Women’s History month. So many great things can be attributed to the women who came before us. The world we live in today is so much easier and better, because of them and what they went through. For all of the strong women out there, both currently and of the past, I thank you. We could not be where we are if it wasn’t for you!
Today in honor of all of those women I want to talk about leadership. I want you to know that I see you friend and I want more for you. I see you playing small and it hurts me because I can see your potential where maybe you can’t see it yet. That’s the thing, sometimes your friends and family can see in you what you can’t yet see for yourself. I want you to be a leader and to give it a shot in some small way. Show up for the people around you. You may not realize it, but the world needs your strength and guidance. You have been through something that nobody else has or you have seen it or experienced it in a unique way.
Remember in school when one teacher would explain something and it made no sense? Then another teacher would explain it, and all of a sudden it just clicked. The same is true for leadership. You may be able to teach someone something (whatever your passionate about) and help it to make sense for them.
What is it that is holding you back? Is it fear? John Lee Dumas says fear is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. Stop making something appear real when it’s not. Say for example, you’re fearful of public speaking, then go to toastmasters and get some practice speaking in front of people.
Some people say “I am not a leader” or “I’m not leadership material.” Bologna. I used to be one of those people that would say I wasn’t a leader. I knew I wasn’t a follower but wouldn’t admit to being a leader. It was the pressure. The pressure of failure, of people watching me, the fear of getting something wrong, of letting people down or teaching the wrong thing. The list could go on and on and on. For years I avoided any type of role that would put me in the spotlight. Realize that sometimes the very thing that you fear and avoid doing, is the thing you should be working on. You’re standing in your own way. Take one small step towards a leadership role (like the public speaking or reading about the topic at hand).
If your truly don’t feel like your leadership material, you can get there. I am not suggesting you be a leader at everything, you lead at work, home, or in an area that your passionate about. To become a leader consider pushing your boundaries. Whatever role you want to be a leader in, push your boundaries a bit. Say for example at work you have never volunteered to do a project, then volunteer (you don’t have to lead it right away, just dip your toe in the water). If you haven’t taken the lead on something at work, take the lead next time an opportunity presents itself.
If you want to be a leader become knowledgeable. Be a student of the game and soak up as much material on the subject that you can. You know the old saying knowledge is power? Get some knowledge by reading up on the subject at hand. Also, read leadership books. You would be surprised how far being knowledgeable can take you. Once you know how to do things, people start coming to you to answer their questions. Consider that a sign that you’re an informal leader.
While at work have active involvement in things that are work related. For example, be a part of the Christmas party or the volunteer activities. If there is a committee for something sign up to help. Being well rounded helps you out as well as the team. Realize that even if work isn’t your current passion you can still learn leadership skills, and other opportunities may present themselves if you are going all in.
Have a can-do volunteer type attitude. Always be willing to help others out. Whether that means a co-worker or your boss. This does two things. It fosters your relationship with your co-workers and it helps you to learn how to do things. Take massive action. If you are constantly volunteering you are going to figure things out pretty quickly
Evaluate where you are at. Look at those around you, do you have more experience than them? If so it’s time to step up. Do people come to you with questions? Again, it’s time to step up. If you evaluate yourself and don’t think you are there yet, then pick something that you can improve upon.
STOP judging yourself. When you make a mistake and start to beat yourself up, make a conscious decision to stop. You don’t deserve to hear that. When you start talking down to yourself realize you are a Badass because you are stepping up and putting yourself out there. You are not staying in the same safe bubble that everyone else is. It doesn’t matter if you make a mistake or get something wrong. Chances are it will be minor and you can get over it. Matter of fact, welcome the mistakes. Whenever you make a mistake that is the very thing you will learn and grow from. That will lead you to be a better leader. It will also help to ensure that you won’t make that mistake again, because it is probably now cemented in your memory. Learn from it. Grow from it.
Ask great questions. When you don’t understand how to do something feel free to ask questions from someone who knows the answer. As I mentioned earlier be a student of the game. When you were in school did you ask questions? Probably. That is how you learn. By asking questions you let people know you are interested and trying to learn. It also allows someone else to lead for a moment. Here is the caveat. Don’t ask a question, just to ask a question. For example, if you are doubting and second guessing everything you do, don’t ask a question just so that you don’t have to make a decision. Just make the decision already!!! When you don’t know the answer and the consequences of your decisions are high, then go ahead and ask. However, if the consequences of your decisions are low, don’t ask and figure it out yourself. If you are a mom and are having trouble managing a particular task, ask other mommy friends what they are doing to solve that problem. If, however you know what to do, and just aren’t doing it (for whatever reason, maybe you don’t want to be the bad guy), then just do the thing that you know you need to do. Following your intuition is helpful. It is the process of making decisions (over and over again) that is going to make you a better leader.
Be Authentic. If you want to be a leader be yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin. The more you can be true to who you are, the more people around you can be true to who they are. People look up to those who are honest, real, and authentic. Yes, there are other characteristics that matter, but being authentic is huge. If someone appears to be fake, then you automatically don’t trust them and they lose all credibility.
When you act, you inspire others to act. There is something so powerful that happens when you step up and act. It becomes contagious and those around you act too. Jim Rohn says “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Guess what you spend 40 hours a week with your co-workers! You are spending a lot of time with them. Are you making them better? Are they making you better? The same can be applied if you’re a stay at home mom. What you say to and how you treat your kids matters. You want to inspire them because they are our future!
I want you to lead. Even if that means growing to be a leader. If you are not ready now, take a step to get there. No leadership experience you say? Then start with just leading one person. Later you can lead more. If not you, then who? If not now, then when? What is the cost of you not stepping up? If you said nothing, I assure you, you are wrong. You have a unique perspective that nobody else can offer. There are people who need that perspective!
I am not saying you need to be the next Sheryl Sandberg (CEO of Facebook) but I do want you to be a leader. Are you a mom? Then you have led those children, certainly you can lead others. How about an aunt or grandma? Then you are probably a role model to a child. Find something you are passionate about, learn the craft and become a leader.
Women are great leaders and let’s face it we think about things differently than a man does. That is one of our advantages. Other advantages are women communicate differently, we have more compassion, and are great at multi-tasking.
Remember my friends “You did not wake up today to be mediocre (unknown author).” Who knows how many days you have left on this earth? Find a way to lead the future generations. They need your knowledge, passion, and guidance.
Marie
PS I would love to hear from you in the notes below. Whether it’s about leadership or what you would like a future blog post to be about. Speaking of future blog posts, next week we will talk about creating your anthem.
PSS if you would like to continue these conversations, we have a great Facebook community over at https://www.facebook.com/groups/2024253447694052/
Talk to ya soon friends!
Marie