Hey friends, how did last week go? Did you learn anything from Malala Yousafzai that you could apply to your own life? If you felt inspired by something she did, take action now! You are a strong woman, I can’t wait to see what you create in this lifetime!
Today I want to dive into negativity and how we can notice it and try to combat it. Negativity is like fire, it may start as a tiny spark, but once it catches on, it can spread like wildfire (through friends, family, co-workers). I have often heard (and thought) that negative people are like energy vampires, they will quickly suck and drain your energy and you may not even realize that it happened. Prior to allowing negative people into your life, turn the other way and run. It will save you some heartache. In order to combat negativity, consider focusing on your thoughts, watch what you allow other people to say to you, make a list, create a gratitude practice, and pay attention to your body.
First you can combat negativity by focusing on your thoughts and what you are saying to yourself. As we have talked about before your self-talk is so important to your self-confidence, and how you view yourself. If you are constantly hard on yourself and have negative thoughts, it makes it hard to get up in the morning or to accomplish anything! I heard a powerful quote “If you realize how powerful your thoughts are you would never think a negative thought (unknown author)” Your thoughts effect who you are and who you will become. Do you want to become a negative Nancy, who is always a victim and nobody wants to be around? Consider writing down every negative thought you have about yourself for 1 week. Often times you won’t even realize how you are talking to yourself. If you are talking down to yourself, I say to you…. with friends like yourself, do you need any enemies? Would you allow anyone else to talk to you that way? If the answer is yes, why? You deserve better. If the answer is no, then you certainly shouldn’t talk to yourself that way. Remember that list you made of all of the negative things you thought about yourself. Argue and write down the opposite of those things, and make sure to say that list of opposite realities to yourself often.
Watch what you allow other people to say to you
Another way to combat negativity is to watch what you allow other people to say to you. Words matter. When you allow other people to be negative towards you and/or talk down to you that information sinks in, and over time it will take a toll on you. You may even start to believe it.
The risk is too high and your future is too great. It is even worse when that person is in your inner circle (spouse, family or friend), because you take what they say to heart. You may be even more willing to believe that what they said is true, because they are your loved one. If someone says you’re crazy, you’re stupid, or even that’s stupid, when you express yourself or an idea, that can sink in. Negativity has the power to create self-doubt. On a good day you can ignore it, on a bad day you may believe it. Don’t allow it! You can accomplish what you want if and when you set your mind to it. Consider telling the person not to talk to you like that, or weed those people out of your life. It is hard to flourish without the proper environment and energy. It is almost like the story about fleas. If you put fleas in a jar with a lid they will keep hopping and hitting the lid. Eventually they will get tired of hitting the lid and stop jumping so high. You could eventually take off the lid and they wouldn’t even try to escape. Crazy right? The same thing can apply to our lives! If you keep being told you can’t do something or your ideas are stupid, you may eventually believe the lie and stop trying. That would be a devastating loss to this world.
There is an old saying “Stay away from negative people they have a problem for every solution” is there for a reason. Negative people may close doors for your creativity and for your life. Chances are you will be hard enough on yourself, you don’t need someone else to assist you with that. In addition, life is hard, there are enough problems, we certainly don’t need to create anymore!
Also realize that you become like those that you hang out with. Have you ever had a new friend that you hit it off with, and then notice that you are saying the same things they do? Maybe they have a particular phrase and then you catch yourself saying it. The same is true with negativity. You will say the same things they do, but maybe you won’t catch yourself. Is it worth it?
Make a list
The third way to combat negativity is to make a list of things you like. The idea is, that when you feel negative about something (work, home, exercise) make a list about everything you love about it or what good comes from you doing it. Review that list daily. I applied it to my life and it really helped. I realized that I felt extremely negative about work and everything that I did at work. I truly didn’t understand it, because I liked my job and what I was doing, so why did I feel so dang negative about everything I was doing? Why did everything feel like a chore that I didn’t want to do? I heard somewhere about using the list technique. I figured I didn’t have anything to lose and gave it a try. After making a list of what I liked about my job, the positives aspects, and why certain tasks were necessary, I reviewed it every morning before I went to work. I don’t recall exactly how long I did it for (maybe a week or two) and it really seemed to work. It reminded me of all of the good aspects of my job and took most of the negativity out of it. Now if you don’t particularly like your job, remember your job gives you money for food, living expenses, gas, etc. It may allow you to pursue your side hustle. Obviously, the list technique can be used for anything in your life that you are feeling negative about. If you’ve tried it for a while, and don’t feel a change, then maybe you need to re-evaluate if that thing that you feel negative about, needs to be in your life. If not, make a plan to change it. If you truly hate it, then don’t stick around forever and be unhappy. Make a plan. Taking action and seeing a light at the end of the tunnel can also help combat the negativity.
Consider a gratitude practice
Another way to combat negativity is to create a gratitude practice. There are 3 different ways to do this. First you can write 3 things that you are grateful for every day. Be really thoughtful about those three things. There is plenty to be grateful for, we just often forget the luxuries that we are afforded. In some parts of the world a pencil and paper are a luxury item. For many of us that is unimaginable. Be grateful for that pen and paper. Another way to practice gratitude is to pick 1 thing you are grateful for everyday and write at least 5 sentences as to why you are grateful for it. A third way to practice gratitude is to look for it throughout the day. Look for the views while you’re driving, or the people who are consistently showing up for you. Consider expressing that gratitude. While practicing gratitude it is hard to stay in a negative mindset. You may find that you are grateful for superficial things and that’s okay, but usually the more you do the practice the more you find to be grateful for.
You can find yourself a cute journal that makes you feel inspired, a composition book, a word document on your computer, or even just a pen and paper. The method you choose for documenting or gratitude practice isn’t important. What is important is that you do it and see how it makes you feel.
Pay Attention to your body
The last way to combat negativity is by paying attention to your body. Often when people around you are negative your body has a reaction to it. Maybe it’s even physical. When someone says something to you (negative or positive), notice how your body is reacting. Do you cringe? Does our stomach tighten, or does your heart beat faster? Sometimes your body picks up on things that your conscious doesn’t pick up on. It’s important to take notice of those things. The physical indicators are often a dose of truth for how you are really feeling.
Negativity can also create more stress in your life and have an effect on your health and appearance. Stress can do some crazy things to you. In his book Hardwiring happiness According to thepowerofpositivity.com “we have to ask ourselves, how much of the stress, worry and negative thoughts we think today are actually life threatening? Recent studies show that psychological stress is causing an overuse of this powerful safety system, weakening our immune system and causing disease to set into our body. Yikes, negative thinking is causing more harm to our bodies and brain than we realize.” Fight off negativity every chance you can because its effects can be devastating.
Consider breaking your negativity by using your body. Maybe you get 15-30 minutes of exercise in each day. It will give you an endorphin rush and help you feel positive or a flow of positive energy in your body. There is a you tube video called “Tony Robbins on How to Break Your Negative Thinking.” In the video, Tony Robbins talks about different poses or things you can do with your body that can make you feel more positive and powerful. For example, standing it the power pose with your hands on your hips for two minutes. I say consider looking in the mirror while you do it! Sometimes what the body will do the brain will follow. If your body feels good you will feel good, or if you take action with your body then it tricks your brain into believing it. If you try it and it doesn’t work what have you truly lost?
Feel free to continue the conversation below, and to join and reach out to the community in our facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/2024253447694052. The next post will be about leadership.
Marie