Many of us are creatures of habit. Once we figure out how to do something, we do it the same way every time. How do you make a change? How do you get over the discomfort of doing something new? Why should you even try to change? These are all things we will talk about today!
But first, I’m wondering about last week’s post. Are you a people pleaser? Did you learn anything about yourself from last week’s blog post? Did you take action on 1 of the 5 ways to stop being a people pleaser? There’s still time friend. It’s not too late to stand up for yourself, and have the life you want!
Now, Let’s talk about overcoming your fear change!
Why should you change?
Ask yourself, if you need to change and if so why? If you said no, you don’t need to change, why is that? Is it because you have a set way of thinking? Maybe you believe, you are who you are, and you can’t change now! We have all heard the old saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” That’s an excuse to not change. I believe everyone should be changing and all the time, because when you change you have the opportunity to grow and to learn. You get to experience life before the change and after the change, and see which version you like better. It gives you more options to choose from, so you can live your best life and who doesn’t want that?!
Keep doing things that you’re fearful of.
If you want to change, keep doing things that your fearful of. Change is HARD…especially when it’s something that you’re scared to do. Every time you make a change you’re delving into uncharted territory. The more that you try new things, the more you will get used to it. You may still feel discomfort, but you learn to embrace the discomfort and go all in anyways! When you push pass the fear it empowers you and makes you feel strong. It lets you know that just because you’re scared doesn’t mean you can’t do something! Ask yourself, what are you fearful of, and how are you letting it hold you back?
Turn your fear into excitement.
If you are nervous about change, turn that fear or nervousness into excitement. Simon Sinek says you turn fear into excitement for what could be. This is a trick that can be used in many different areas of your life!
You may have heard me mention it before, but I had a fear of public speaking. In the past, it terrified me! I did anything possible to avoid it. One day I decided to make a change, and confronted this fear. I joined Toastmasters and was terrified, but I did it anyway! I also did a bunch of research about how to get over your fear of public speaking. I heard about turning your fear into excitement and thought, what do I have to lose. I may as well try it. Whenever I went to speak, I would feel those nerves come on. I purposely told myself “thank god you’re here!” I tried to use that excitement to propel me forward and to have more energy in my speeches! I think it helped! You know the old saying, what you focus on grows. If you focus on the nerves, you will get more of them!
Understand change, so that you can come to terms with it.
Try to understand change so you can deal with it in a way that’s healthy. Also know how you react to change. What are your triggers when you hear a change is coming? How can you reframe it in your mind to make it healthy for you? The more you know about how you typically react, the more you can notice it the next time, and prepare for it.
Focus on what you can control not what you can’t!
Don’t get bogged down with all the things you can’t control. Once you know a change is going to occur, how can you get ahead of it? How can you learn the most about it, so you can be the most comfortable with it? Author and speaker Lisa Nichols, says “you spend 80 percent of your time focusing on the things that you have no power to influence.” She suggests you “focus on the 20% that you have a direct impact on changing.” It may require a perspective switch, to be okay with change! What can you have a direct impact on changing?
Make change happen.
Take action and make change happen. In the past I didn’t like change, but I found out that I love to lead the change as opposed to being pulled along with it. For example, if I jump in and embrace a task at work as opposed to being told I am going to do the task, it’s easier for me to accept. I feel more resistant when I am told to do something as opposed to when I volunteer to do it. I now make it a habit of getting ahead of the change, and jumping right in! I feel so much better doing it!
The more you do it, the more comfortable you get with change.
The more you try new things, the more you will become comfortable with change. If you overcome things that you were previously uncomfortable with, it will become easier and easier to do. As with any new skill that you acquire, it will take hours and hours to master it, but the scary part is usually in the beginning. Get over that first initial scary part, and it will get easier for you. If it doesn’t get easier, rest assured, it shouldn’t get worse! Brooke Castillo argues that we don’t want to do hard things, because they are hard!
Friend I am going to challenge you, to make 1 small change at a time! Make a list of the changes you want to make in your life and go after them. Maybe you are trying to make a change and become healthier. That’s great. Make it a habit to change 1 thing, and then start working on the next change!
Next week we will be talking about Living in the past. Do you let your past haunt you? Respond to this post or by email and let me know how you deal with the past!
Marie
PS Make one change today. Remember to be the change you want to see in this world! It starts with you!
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I love your blogs and think they are full of great ideas and information. They include ideas that are challenging and inspiring. Keep up the good work!!!!!!