Creating Your Mantra

I Am what I say I Am!

What you say to yourself matters!  We often listen to that little voice in our head and it has profound effects on our lives and the way we live it.  If you don’t like what you are saying to yourself, consider flipping the script and creating a Mantra.  According to Oxford dictionary A Mantra is defined as (1) “originally in Hinduism and Buddhism) a word or sound repeated to aid concentration in meditation. (2) A statement or slogan repeated frequently.”  If on the other hand, you like how you talk to yourself, is there some area of self-talk where you can improve?  A mantra is a great way to increase your self-confidence and self-worth.  It can help you to believe things about yourself, that you haven’t believed before.

I am a believer in having some sort of personal mantra.  Something to uplift you in the morning, afternoon, and/or night.  A mantra serves as something to get you out of the trenches when you are feeling down.  Or it reminds you of why you woke up in the morning and what you have to offer the world!  Mantras also serve as a reminder of who we are and what we are capable of, they can be a confidence booster, or a glimpse of the person we want to be.  Our self-worth, self-confidence, and values can all to easily be forgotten in this busy world.  Our self-confidence is like a plant.  We need to nurture it and water it, to keep it alive and thriving.  

You have so much strength in you friend, I just wonder if you can see if for yourself!  I believe there are times when we all struggle with finding our strengths and our good qualities.  There are times where we forget that we are beautiful, and important.  A personal mantra is a great reminder of those things.  You can read your mantra at a set time every day.  In addition, you can read it when you are feeling down in the dumps and need a pick me up.  Just as you set reminders for your appointments, you can set a reminder to read your personal Mantra.  Establishing a routine or a habit will make it more likely that you will do it.   You may want to consider reading your mantra in the morning when you wake up and at night when you go to sleep.  It is important to consistently see the reminder of who you are and what you’re capable of.  I like the practice of writing your mantra down, reading it to yourself, and then reading out loud.  We connect with things differently, when we experience them in different ways.  Sometimes one way will trigger something in your brain that another way wouldn’t.  You can try all of the ways, or for beginners just pick one.  The important thing is that you routinely read (or write) your mantra.

How do personal mantras help you to become the person you want to be, you might ask?  Well it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy.  You are who you say you are.  If you don’t have any standards for the future, you certainly won’t live up to them.  There is also something to be said about repeatedly viewing who you are and who you want to be.  It keeps your objective at the forefront of your mind.  You are more likely to concentrate on making it happen!  So, if you want to believe you’re beautiful or strong, say those things to yourself every day.  I have done this since a young age, and I get it…it feels embarrassing (especially in the beginning), but guess what?  It works.  Eventually when you tell yourself something over and over again, you will start to believe it.  That is of course, until you fully believe it.  Think about how many times have you called yourself ugly, fat or stupid?  The more you said it to yourself the more you believed it.

A personal mantra is a self confidence booster.  It helps to lift your spirits.  This may not happen overnight, but it will happen over time!  Consistency is important.  Do it every day.  Show up, if for no other reason, then to show up for yourself.  YOU ARE IMPORTANT.  YOU ARE WORTH IT.  Your mantra may not mean anything to you for a day, week or month, but eventually it will sink in and you will start to believe what you are telling yourself.  The things that may be hard to say (or read) in the beginning, will eventually become ingrained in who you are.

We all struggle with different things (a mantra isn’t one size fits all), so your mantra needs to be specific to you and your needs.  I believe I have shared my mantra with you before.  “I’m strong, I’m capable, I will survive, I will overcome.”  This particular mantra was specific to my work as a Law Enforcement officer.  At one point these were all my insecurities and things I needed to believe them.  I needed to believe I was strong inside and out.  I feared I was weak compared to someone I may come across on the streets and even weaker than my co-workers.  I worried I wasn’t capable of doing the job I had signed up to do.  I doubted every single decision I made.  I had to believe that I would survive and go back to my family every night.  Along those lines, I needed to remind myself that I was capable of doing the job mentally and physically.  I will tell you, there were days when I felt like a complete failure.  Like every single decision I made was the wrong one.  Looking back, I was way to critical and inside my own head.  I was critical about everything I did.  Which certainly didn’t help matters any.  Now, I can proudly say, that is no longer the case.  But, If I’m being honest, I had to say this Mantra to myself for years.  This is what I told myself everyday before I went to work as a police officer, because I didn’t believe those things about myself, and I wanted to.  There were days where I said those things one time only, as I put my uniform on; but more often than not, I would say those phrases on repeat, the whole time, during my half an hour drive to turnout (at the precinct).  Your mantras will likely be different than mine and that’s okay.  You need to say what resonates with you.  Find the thing/s you are struggling with or the thing that you want to be and include those in your mantra!

I believe in you.  You can do this.  I wish I had someone to say that to me.  The truth is though, I never spoke up about it.  I never told anyone that I was struggling with self-confidence because I thought that would make me weak.  I have a feeling you are the same way.  Maybe there is someone in your life thinking the same thing.  You could help them out, by talking about what you are going through.  As with anything I suggest you only share this with those you trust.  If someone is toxic or will shut you down, don’t share your mantra or your struggles with them.  You are also welcome to share your feelings, experiences and Mantra’s in the comment section of this blog!

Consider reading your mantra and doing a power pose or the “wonder woman pose” (standing tall, with your chest out, feet shoulder width apart, and place your hands on your hips), while you are reading it.  Amy Cuddy gave a TED Talk and is the author of a book titled “presence,” recommends you do a power pose to increase your confidence.  She suggests you do something like this for two minutes, while looking in the mirror.  Her book says you need to know your values, strengths and traits and you review them at times when you feel social disapproval or rejection. 

Consider placing your mantra somewhere you can see it often, like on your mirror, night stand or in the dashboard of your car?  It can go on a 3×5 card in your purse.  Read it at morning and at night before going to bed.  What if you placed your Mantra on the mirror and did a power pose while reading it out loud?

There is so much negativity in our lives and in our heads, we have to do something to combat that!  Every time you say something negative about yourself, say the opposite three times.  Why is it that the negative words seem to sink in so much more than the positive words?  If there is something negative that you say to yourself, consider flipping that phrase around, and turning it into something positive.  If you always say your stupid or dumb start saying your smart.  Author and Podcast host Hal Elrod talked about being in a car crash and having a traumatic brain injury.  He said that in the beginning he would often say he couldn’t remember things because of the crash.  It wasn’t until he started saying a daily mantra or affirmation that focused positively on his memory, that his memory improved.  Famous boxer Muhammad Ali was known to tell himself (and others) “I am the greatest.”

What you tell yourself matters.  It helps to create who you are and who you want to be.  If you don’t believe me try it out for a month and see how you feel.  This exercise only takes a minute or two out of your day.  Ask yourself what have you got to lose?

Marie